Breakfast for Dinner

Belgium waffles??…GET IN MA’ BEEEELLY!

There are few luxuries in life that can be so simply and easily achieved as breakfast for dinner. Breakfast is by far my favorite meal of the day. I’m big into imagining what my life will be like in the future. When I’m having one of those days that makes me feel like I just stepped off the short bus with a bad haircut, wearing the wrong thing, dropped off at the corner of Hellsville Blvd. and You’re-An-Asshat Ave., I retreat to my happy place and picture myself living the ridiculously chic and organized life that is sure to be part of my new future any day now. In these daydreams I’m almost always living in a loft apartment in a big city, sitting by my picture window watching the sunrise in an oversized fluffy white robe, while reading the paper AND very happily eating breakfast in a serene, calm silence.  

First of all – this is a nice thought…until I realize how much it sounds like a scene right out of Pretty Woman – and I’d hate to think that the other part of my new future is a jaunty foray into high-class prostitution. Secondly – this is not only the opposite of my reality, it is just not me – in any way. I think I have only ever managed to read the paper at breakfast a handful of times, and honestly have a hard time concentrating on it. I would more willingly repeatedly jab myself in the eye with a needle dipped in lemon juice then sit in silence. I’m exactly the wrong kind of person to own a white robe – it should, and probably eventually will, be outlawed for me. I am learning to be a little more realistic about the spaces I’ll be able to afford in the city, and am preparing myself to be content with ANY window. But breakfast – that’s a dream I can achieve. Everyday. Sometimes twice! And at dinner time?? Forget it. Its over. Miracles are happening now. It makes me feel like I’m doing something really wacky and against the rules. “She had….BREAKFAST…?!? FOR DINNER?!? GUARDS! SEIZE HER!”

So tonight I made myself a huge stack of belgium waffles…scrambled eggs with rosemary and chives…baaaaaaconnnnn…mmmm…rye toast and tea. I looked down at the dog and said dramatically, “Dax – tonight – we eat like KINGS!” 

Face down in my gluttonous love of breakfast for dinner I got a  phone call from a friend to discuss some vaca plans – “When you visit,” he said, “I can take you out for dinner – what kind of  food do you like?” “Actually – I REALLLY like BREAKFAST!” I emphatically – well – let’s be honest – YELLED into the phone…syrup dripping down my face…


*this denotes the longest awkward pause in a conversation I have ever experienced.

 Finally he cleared his throat and regrouped with a, “well…you are forward, aren’t you?”

Breakfast for dinner: a simple delight to be treasured…but also an accidental instant reputation ruiner.

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One Response to “Breakfast for Dinner”
  1. Russ Frye says:

    I’m serious, Amanda, you really do have to publish a book. Even if someone were totally devoid of a sense of humor, they’d laugh at this! Please, please, please, post more!!

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